To Ask or Not To Ask?

Integrity is Currency, Too

Should You Ask for Money With No Intention to Pay It Back?

In today’s economy, riddled with inflation, job insecurity, and skyrocketing costs of living, many people are stretched thin. Side hustles are common, GoFundMes are everywhere, and money stress is a daily companion for countless folks. But in the middle of all this pressure, a real ethical dilemma emerges:

Is it ever okay to ask someone for money with no intention of paying them back?

Let’s Get Real: The State of the Economy

First, let’s be clear—people are struggling. Rent is climbing, wages aren’t keeping up, and many are just one emergency away from financial collapse. We are in an era where survival sometimes demands desperation. It’s not shocking that people are reaching out for help.

But survival doesn’t erase accountability.

The Line Between Help and Hustle

There’s a difference between asking for help and manipulating someone. If you ask for money, and the person believes it’s a loan, then you’re entering into a moral (if not legal) agreement. You’re saying, “I will give this back.”

If you never intend to give it back—and you don’t say that upfront—then you’re not asking for help. You’re running a scam.

The economy is bad, but integrity still matters.

But What If They Can Afford It?

Some might say, “Well, they’ve got it. They won’t miss it.” That’s a rationalization. Just because someone can give doesn’t mean you’re entitled to what they have. That’s the kind of thinking that breaks relationships, personal and community-based.

Mutual aid works best when there’s transparency. If you need help and can’t pay it back, say so honestly. Give the other person the respect to decide for themselves if they want to give a gift or a loan.

Intent Matters

We’ve all heard stories: someone gets asked for $200 “until next week” and never hears back. It’s not even about the money—it’s about the lie. Trust is harder to earn than cash, and far more valuable.

If your intent is to take and disappear, you’re not broke—you’re being dishonest. And that has long-term consequences. You might solve a short-term financial problem, but create lasting damage to your name, your network, and your sense of self.

Alternatives to Consider

• Be honest: “I need help, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay this back.”

• Offer something else: If you can’t repay in cash, offer skills, labor, or time.

• Use platforms built for giving: Crowdfunding sites exist because people want to help with no expectation of repayment. Use them transparently.

• Look for community resources: Churches, nonprofits, mutual aid networks—many have funds or programs specifically for people in need.

In a world where everything feels uncertain, your word still matters. Your reputation still matters. If you're in need, ask. People can surprise you with their generosity. But don't twist generosity into exploitation.

The economy is tough. But don’t let it make you someone you wouldn’t trust.