Should You Go Back?

Back into time.

The Pros and Cons of Returning to a Past Relationship

Love has a memory. And sometimes, that memory lingers. Whether it’s a familiar smile, a shared inside joke, or just the comfort of someone who once knew every layer of you, the temptation to return to an ex is a real one. But before you pick up the phone, scroll through old photos, or answer that “Hey, stranger” text—stop and reflect.

Going back to someone you were once in a relationship with isn’t always black and white. It can be the rekindling of a beautiful bond... or the reopening of an old wound.

The Pros of Going Back to a Past Relationship

Familiarity and Comfort

Sometimes, being with someone who already knows you—your quirks, your flaws, your favorite foods, and your silence—feels like home. There's no need to start from scratch. The connection already has depth.

Unfinished Business

Maybe you were in different places in life. Maybe timing was off. Sometimes a breakup wasn't due to incompatibility but immaturity, distance, or circumstance. Revisiting the relationship could allow for closure—or a stronger chapter two.

Growth and Reflection

If both parties have done the emotional work, healed, and grown, the relationship can evolve into something better than it was. Time apart can offer perspective that helps both partners appreciate what they once had—and what they could have again.

Emotional Investment

Years, memories, milestones… all that history is hard to walk away from. Rekindling can feel like honoring all that energy instead of letting it go to waste.

Real Love Doesn’t Die Easily

If you both still love each other—and that love is healthy, mutual, and not rooted in trauma or toxicity—then maybe it’s worth a second chance. Some people truly are meant to find their way back to each other.

The Cons of Going Back to a Past Relationship

The Past is Still the Past

Whatever broke you up before might still be present. The patterns, the unresolved issues, the personality clashes—they don't magically disappear. If those problems haven’t been actively addressed, expect a rerun, not a rebirth.

Romanticizing the Old

It’s easy to remember the good and forget the bad. Nostalgia can blur the truth, making you chase a version of the relationship that never really existed. Make sure you’re not falling in love with the idea of them rather than the reality.

Delaying the Inevitable

Sometimes going back is just prolonging what needs to end. We mistake comfort for compatibility. We fear loneliness. We dread starting over. But staying in a familiar cycle out of fear only leads to more pain down the road.

Lack of Accountability

If one or both people haven’t truly owned up to their role in the breakup or done the necessary inner work, history will repeat itself. Love without accountability is just sentiment with no structure.

You May Block Your Blessing

By going back, you might unknowingly be blocking yourself from someone new—someone better aligned with your current self, healed wounds, and future goals. Settling for “what was” can cost you “what could be.”

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Reconnecting:

-Why did we break up, and has anything truly changed?

-Am I going back because I miss them—or because I’m lonely?

-Have I healed from the wounds of the relationship, or am I still bleeding?

-Have they shown consistent change, or are they just saying what I want to hear?

-If this were a new person, would I accept their current behavior?

Going back to someone you were once with is neither always right nor always wrong—it’s situational, spiritual, emotional, and practical. It requires brutal honesty, clear boundaries, and both people walking into the new chapter with different shoes and a new map.

Sometimes love deserves a second chance.

Sometimes it deserves a respectful goodbye.

Whatever you decide, let it be from wisdom—not weakness.

"Just because someone was right for you at one time doesn’t mean they’re right for you now. Growth sometimes means letting go, and sometimes, it means returning with renewed intention. Know the difference."