His & Hers

What Type of Man Are You—And What Kind of Woman Matches Your Healing? Inspired by themes from Something I’m Not (S.I.N.)

We don’t talk enough about how fractured identities shape our relationships. In Something I’m Not, we explore how Black men and women navigate connection while carrying generations of expectation, rejection, and survival. Love—real love—requires more than just attraction. It involves healing, clarity, and the courage to break cycles.

So, let’s go deeper than “types.” Let’s talk about who you’ve become and what kind of woman helps you grow into something you’ve never been allowed to be.

The Builder (The Man Who’s Trying to Create Stability From Chaos)

You weren’t handed a blueprint—you’re drawing it in real-time. You came up in instability, and now you’re focused on providing the security you never had. But you battle the fear of becoming emotionally unavailable in the process.

The woman you need: Someone who sees the man behind the mission. She brings calm to your grind and grace to your mistakes. She doesn’t punish you for not being finished—she respects your foundation and pours into it with her dreams, not just her demands.

The Mirror (The Man Who Reflects and Analyzes Everything, Including Himself)

You’ve done the inner work. You’ve questioned everything—your masculinity, your worth, your desire to lead vs. your fear of being misunderstood. You don’t run from accountability; sometimes, you get stuck in the mirror.

The woman you need: A partner who doesn’t just want a deep man but knows how to love one. She gives you space to process and reminds you that you’re not broken just because you feel deeply. She doesn’t need to fix you; she wants to understand you.

The Mask (The Man Who’s Been Everything to Everybody Except Himself)

You’ve been the protector, the playboy, the provider, the project. You know how to perform, but the applause doesn’t fill you. You’re tired of being admired but never really seen.

The woman you need: A woman who sees past the persona. She won’t chase the image—you, raw and unfiltered, are enough. Her love isn’t about what you do, but who you are when the performance ends.

The Dreamer (The Man With a Vision But No Map)

You know what you want, but your path is nonlinear. You’re hustling between realities—trying to build, discover, and believe simultaneously. Your energy is contagious, but your inconsistency can hurt the ones close to you.

The woman you need: Someone with both faith and boundaries. She believes in your vision but won’t abandon herself in the process. She helps you move from dreaming to building—with love that grounds, not controls.

The Wounded Warrior (The Man Carrying Silent Scars)

You’ve been betrayed—by lovers, society, maybe even family. Your default setting is defense. You want love, but you also don’t trust it to last. Your trauma is a filter through which you see everything.

The woman you need: A woman who doesn’t demand perfection but presence. She’s patient but not passive. She loves you in a way that encourages you to take the armor off slowly, at your pace. She knows love doesn’t heal all—but it can help.

To ALL MEN

You’re not broken. You’re layered. You’re not toxic. You’re healing. And you’re not something you’re not—becoming someone you’ve never been taught to be.

Relationships aren’t about finding someone who completes you. They’re about walking with someone who understands the work of becoming whole.

The real question isn’t just what type of man you are. It’s what type of healing are you ready for—and who can hold it with you?